Daughter-in-law and father-in-law. Traditions of the Caucasus.
The Caucasus is generously endowed with natural and human wealth: a huge number of peoples live on this territory, and all of them are united by their commitment to traditions. The family way of the mountaineers is largely subject to certain rules governing relations between relatives. So, after the wedding, the newlyweds have quite a few new relatives: father-in-law and mother-in-law, mother-in-law and mother-in-law, sister-in-law and brother-in-law, brother-in-law, sister-in-law and sister-in-law. This is especially true for Caucasian families, which are usually very large.
A special etiquette and tact in behavior is inherent in each family member, depending on his age and gender. But today we will talk about perhaps the thinnest border in the family relations of the peoples of the Caucasus. We will talk about daughter-in-law and father-in-law.
For most peoples of the Caucasus, a young wife does not dare to talk with her husband's relatives until her father-in-law gives her a gift, symbolizing this permission. In a word, the older men in the family should not hear her voice, she should not eat and sit at the same table with them in their presence. The girl can get such permission over time, if the elder in the family considers it possible and with witnesses will allow the daughter-in-law from this moment to communicate with them and in his presence. At the same time, it is considered not to be superfluous to make some sign of attention to the daughter-in-law, whether it be some amount of money or any other gift. Moreover, if after some time she receives another similar gift from her father-in-law, then this signal means that the young woman has started talking too much.
There is a parable about how a father-in-law presented gold earrings to one daughter-in-law, and she turned out to be such a talker that a month later he was forced to give her a present again so that she would finally be silent.
Also in the Caucasus, it is considered the norm when the young wife for the first few months cannot meet with her relatives without the permission of not only her husband, but also her new relatives. There is an opinion that this custom is based on the fact that the young woman could not escape or complain, but this is not so, because the fortress of Caucasian families is not based at all on restrictions and prohibitions, it is based on love.
In rural areas of Transcaucasia, the tradition obliges the daughter-in-law to get up for the first month of marriage before the rest of the family and, at sunrise, sweep the yard clean. Apparently, it is based on the fact that during this time, which is most likely considered a probationary period for the young, she had to prove her right to live in this family, to demonstrate her hard work.
It should be added that the described restrictions and even prohibitions were largely softened or dropped altogether after the birth of the long-awaited first-born, great joy and a grandiose family event, personifying the continuation of the clan and the continuation of life. It is in the nature of the relationship of the young bride with the new family that all the common prohibitions are reflected in relation to senior members of the surname and family, starting from the ban on the young bride turning her back to her father-in-law and senior family members. At first glance, it may seem that the traditions of the peoples of the Caucasus in family relations and in particular in relation to a young wife are very strict and diverse in their clever limitations and taboos, however, it should be recalled that it is in the Caucasus that families are traditionally considered the strongest.